


Can we somehow get out from this lies safely

by melmelimel



Category: Start-Up (Korea TV)
Genre: F/M, halmeoni
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:40:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27790897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melmelimel/pseuds/melmelimel
Summary: It is never his intention to hurt her when he start that lies.Now he knew no good came out from lies.Not only he hurts her, but he also bleeding.Can he somehow get out from this lies safely?How to straighten the tangled thread.
Relationships: Han Ji Pyeong/Seo Dal Mi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Can we somehow get out from this lies safely

What left out from the painful truth that opened up in ep.9.  
**pls bear with my messy grammar**  
.  
Ji pyeong never really had a great attachment to relationship before. He grew up forced to be a strong lonely figure that knew nothing but to survive. Yet there’s one hole in that perfectly build strong wall. It happened 15 years ago in this place. In front of little corn dog stall, beneath a lone cherry blossom tree. One complicated yet the only relationship that he held dear, deep in his heart. He happened to somehow got attached to the owner of the stall. And her granddaughter.  
15 years ago,   
He ran away because the guilt that he felt from accusing halmoni stole his money. He was young, desperate, have little to survive. She appeared to acknowledged that and took his hurtful words with her big heart. But his regrets run deep. He ran away, and eating his regret for 15 years alone.  
Today, after 15 years passed by  
He made another wrong move. That probably will give him a bigger regret than the last time. This time, it is not because of his hurtful words. Rather than, the good will to protect someone. To not wanting to hurt the lady in front of him, the will to keep her dream soar high, to keep her from being disappointed. Eventhough he sacrificed his feeling, belief and hope. Because of that good will, he came to hurt her the most.   
And it hurts him back to no end.  
.  
‘dalmi ssi..’ he take one step to her. But all he saw is her tearful eyes, full of disappointment, resentment and anger. She takes one step back.   
And he cannot force another step ahead.   
And just like he ran away 15 years ago, this time she is the one who ran away in tears.  
Though it is not him that running away, but it always the same. In the end, he is the one that ended up alone.  
.  
After what happened yesterday, honestly, he felt most miserable in his whole 35 years life. But at the same time, he felt he doesn’t deserve to feel the heartache. He is the one who hurt her.   
So he forced himself to fall into his routine. Drove his car faster. Took workload more than ever necessary. Barked to his staff here and there. Didn’t even stop to fill his stomach. Blocked all spare time, not giving chance to let his mind wander somewhere else than work.   
But he cannot help but called halmoni couple times. Asking her to keep eye to dalmi. Make sure she is alright. And when he saw her walking aimlessly at lunch time, on his way to pick up important file in other building. He doesn’t realize he’s been following her, until he reach the restaurant. And that lame confession happened. It only giving him extra tons of stress. Not as cool and as calm as he appear. It only dragging his mood down to the gutter.  
So he keep running away from himself. Making work as his escapade. Park dong chan felt like walking on fire today, he doesn’t know what he did wrong, yet all he got today was more work, more glare, more spit from his boss. And he even had to lie about emergency in his house to be able to get out from the office late at 11 pm. If not he will be forced to spent the night at the office, together with the furious Mr. Han.  
.  
In the third day, Director Yoon visit Mr. Han office. Because Dong chan sent her an SOS message, telling her to make the team manager out from the office before all the staff was on fire. She managed to assured him that the projects on demand are already running smoothly, and another far time projects can be done later. He doesn’t need to rush.   
But his response is off. So she lied that she need him to attend sudden meeting that she cannot attend, rather far - out of town. She practically had to use her veto as his boss position to force him out. Only after that, Han ji pyeong came out of the office.  
.  
It turned out the meeting was brief. It is important, yet not so sudden and that urgent to be attend to. The team that welcome him rather flustered, why in the world Han ji pyeong come by himself. He can always ask his subordinate to come.   
After finishing here and there, they asked him to join them into dinner. But he didn’t have appetite and will to have fun at the moment. He excused himself and hurried back to his own car.   
“Thank you Mrs. Yoon. Things are perfectly good here.” He sent his gratitude to his senior. Realizing this is only an excuse made by her to push him out, stopping him from over working in the office.   
As things slows down, his mind come back to the problem that he’s being run away. To the problem that he mute down these past days.   
.  
It is not even night yet, he drove aimlessly around the area. Suburban wind feels different, fresher and lighter. Yet it cannot lift up his mood yet. He parked around the hill that face open sea, this area is really beautiful. It makes sense that SH venture invest big money to the resort here.   
Gentle waves sound and wind somehow bring solemn peace to him. He rest there, opening his window, and leaning to his head rest with eyes closed. Allow him to finally think with cool head. He realized, that the only way to solve the problem is first to accept the reality.   
He hurt her. And he probably messed up his tiny opportunity to win her heart. Although that wasn’t his goal in the first place. Heck, he didn’t even realize his feeling until lately. But before he can do anything about it, he already messed up his chance. The ever youngest manager in SH Venture Asia is indeed a late bloomer in the term of romantic relationship.  
.  
He opened his pc tablet. Unlock the only folder that has number password there. It contains photograph of several letter he exchange with Dalmi. Only now, he realize why he took fond feeling to this letter. This letters, help him to find a way to feel again. Amidst his struggle to be independent in his young age, this letters is the only way he can freely express himself. It somehow made that hard period of his growing up become little bit sweet.   
He read the letter one by one. How childish it is. How sweet the young dalmi is. How innocent. How she appeared to be different from the first letter to the last one. She seems more confident and happy. And he wished, he hoped, that the letter is contributing into that matter, even in single silver line.  
.  
He intended to drove back straight to seoul. But he found himself parking around that place again. This night is not that dark, the cherry blossoms tree petals that in full bloom could be seen under the street light. Even the stars are visible here and there. The night is too beautiful for his broken heart.   
He took steps there. He sat down in those step, like many years before. Opening the last letter he got from dalmi. He read it again, again, and again. Not realizing he got streams of tears down his face. Realization hit him harder now, that he likely lost his first love just like that. And he is fully aware how dreadfully long it will probably take for his heart to be okay again.   
He will mostly still be the most sought bachelor till he reach mid 30’s. Maybe he will only manage to find a will to make another relationship in his 40’s. He laughed bitterly. Yes, he is indeed have problem. Just like how grandma mentioned when they met again months before. He is being single up until now is indeed a problem.  
Will he even get married? He wonders, as his tears continue to streams down his face, his laughter become louder.   
.  
Unknown to him, pair of eyes had been watching him from afar. First it shocked to find him in those step, beneath the bird house. As it keeps on watching, she realized that he is too, heart broken. She saw his tears, his regrets, and his bitterness in his laugh that echo in those streets.   
‘Ah..’ it is not only her that feel this bitterness of heart broken because of this lie. That man too, is shattered into pieces because this lie.   
Truthfully, she doesn’t have courage yet to forgive him. Or To forgive another person that she thought her first love. She is still angry and disappointed at both of them.   
But now, it likes as she is watching him for the first time. Her real Nam do san that saves her years ago. She finally got to see the real feeling of her first love. How he really is inside beneath. Unguarded and bare his feeling down.   
And she feels warm again. He is real. Her pen pal is real. And, she is half way to believe that all those feeling in the letters that they exchange is real.   
And she feels warmth flicker inside her broken heart.  
.  
As his laugh not getting any slower but rather become louder and louder, she cannot help but being embarrassed. Couples passerbys looked at that laughing man weirdly. She hid her face in her hand.   
‘Ugh! Why I had to came here in the first place’ she mumbled  
“what’s with him? Is he crazy?” hushed a couple of college students that happen to pass her hiding spot. “what a waste, he looks so handsome though” and they pass her with giggles  
She took a deep breath and start approaching the laughing man in that step.  
.  
“Stop it Mr. han! People looking weirdly at you.” She mumbled while facing to old cord dog stall, steps away from him.   
He got surprise by her appearance out of nowhere,   
stands up too quickly only to butt his head to the bird box hard.  
“aww!!!” he rubbed his head trying hard to ease the pain  
“huff ha ha” a chuckle cannot help but escaped from the girl that trying hard to giving him cold shoulder there.  
“aaahh.. it hurts” he too cannot help but join her chuckles.   
And they both end up having a light round of good laugh while he is easing his throbbing head.  
.  
When the laughter subsided, she sat herself down in those step. He also took a sit beside her in safe distance. They both look ahead in silence. The only thing that fills the space between them is the tree and bird box above their heads. Night wind starts blowing harder, the nights has been crawling deeper without them realizing.   
He opens his suit jacket, fold it and unfold it. Hesitant to offer it to her. But he did, after several hard wind blows.   
Then, finally their eyes met. It is the first time for them to see eyes to eyes while knowing the real identity of one another. And it’s like time slowing down.  
What he saw now is different from her eyes three days ago. Those eyes didn’t hold anger and resentment anymore. But rather loneliness, lots of unanswered questions and broken heart.   
He cursed to himself for being one of the reason why.  
What she saw in his eyes is loneliness, hesitant and broken heart. Far different from the persona of the great Mr. han ji pyeong she been knowing these past months.   
She realized that he’s been hiding himself behind a high wall of pretense. A wall that he built himself to hide his truth.  
.  
“it is cold” he offered his jacket with so much hesitation  
She held her sight on the jacket for a couple seconds longer before accepting.   
She wear it around her shoulder and instantly felt warmth surge upon it. Did he put hot pack here. But the warmth now ran deep warming her messed up heart.  
“why are you here?” she started, back to looking into the streets rather than her conversation partner  
“ah.. I.. Mr. yoon kick me out of the office” he replied in little voice. So different from the harsh mentor that he known for.  
She kept her silence. He avoided to tell her the truth. And he knew she knew it.  
After one deep breath he braved himself to bare his heart.  
“I miss it here” he confessed  
Now he sounded sincere. And she smirked inside  
“how long do you know my grandma?” she asked again, while holding onto the jacket tighter  
“just days before you shooing me away, for following you around” he kept his gaze straight  
“me? Shooing you away? What do you mean?” she got confused, did she met him before  
“ah, you probably don’t remember it.. the teenage boy happen to follow you around on the way to your grandma stall? The timid boy that ran away from the stall after you and your sister looked back?”  
Her eyes got bigger in surprised and realization,  
“that’s me” he confessed  
And time is completely frozen at that moment.  
.  
The strong wind blows hard, making fallen leaves swept away towards them. He instantly got up and covered her from the wind source, and she is still in shock.  
“ehm, its getting chilly here. Do you want head inside?” he asked  
“what? Inside where?” she got confused  
He already fumbling into the bird box house, fishing a key from there.   
“how is it still there?” she asked in another shock,   
Well she knew for fact that the key couldn’t be inside those bird box anymore. The owner of the food stall is change long ago. It is not her grandma anymore. So why?  
He looked pale, like a kid caught doing bad thing in secret.  
“I kept it here” he answered  
“Around two years ago, I managed to beg the owner to sell the food stall to me.” He scratched his un-itchy nape while looking everywhere but to her eyes.  
“why?” she only managed to spell one single word  
He looked down to his feet, before looking her in the eyes and repeating his answer  
“I miss it here”   
.   
The kettle whistle broke the silence between them. They are seated inside the small corn dog stall, awkwardly facing and avoiding each other eyes. He got up from his seat. Pouring hot water into two mugs along with instant milk tea. Mumbling himself how un-manly his choice of beverage is. And she let out a small chuckle.   
“or.. do you want coffee maybe?” he asked  
“no, that’s fine” she smiled unconsciously. Making him frozen for a sec before pulled his sense back.  
“I lived here for a year. Grandma found me lost in rain across the street. And she force me inside”  
“sounds exactly like her” she giggled  
He stole glances at her. Noting that her mood is getting lighter and better, and he is happy about it.  
“I was an orphan, kicked out from the orphanage house at 17. With little money they gave for me to live outside. I was lucky though, I won young investment competition. That added couple more bucks into my pocket. But I still cannot afford rent room deposit. And no one took a risk to rent a house illegally to young boy with no money” he unconsciously laid out his past in front of her. The small space that has familiar scent made him unguarded. And her presence made him want to open up.  
“Sorry, did I blabbering too much?” he fidgeting with his own mug  
She shakes her head. Silently ask him to go on  
“That’s why I ended up receiving grandma kindness of letting me lived here. That’s why you always thought I was following you around”  
“ah, I thought I had one secret admirer back then you know” she mumbled  
“hehe..” he gave a little laugh. She noticed how beautiful it is, his unguarded side.  
“well I become one later..” he looked her in the eyes.   
He surprised she didn’t avoid him. And it made him uneasy how brave the lady in front of him is.  
“ehm!” he coughed a bit and stray away his eyes elsewhere.  
“I saw you running in tears to grandma when your parents separated, that why I agreed to start ghost writing you a letter” he continue “I saw how grim you are when your father passed away, that’s why I keep on writing”   
“did you lie in your letter?” she asked cutting him off  
“lie?” he taken aback “I admit I am good at that, I did lie about the name, about having family, about playing go every holiday. Basically I lied here and there.”  
She kept on listening  
“but I never intended to hurt anyone. To hurt you.” He fumbling with his fingers “no one would accept me as an ophan at that time, I got no friends because of that. My teachers keep giving me side eyes. People who knew that either stay away or ignore me because of the fact. So I start lying.”  
She can feel now, why it was hard for him to open up. How scary it is for him to bare himself. Yet he laid the truth for her.  
“Aside from the things I want to do in chuseok, what family I’m in, what I wrote down in those letters is my true feelings.” He closed up his speech “Those letters, giving me space to let out my feelings. It help me to be brave enough to feel emotions again” He tear up from opening up so much. His mixed feeling from long due gratitude, regret, and all other emotions drawn him down.  
“I am sorry if it end up hurting you so much like this” he look straight to her eyes  
She met his eyes. She can feel how he regret his lie. Her anger turn to resentment too. Why..   
‘aahh.. ‘ she sighed while shaking her head. She sipped down her milk tea while trying to suck up her teary eyes too.   
Now that she knew the truth, she want him to know the truth too.  
“Those letters means a lot to me.” She started, she doesn’t want him to feel the only one who in the fragile situation of opening themselves up. “The first time I got it I feel elated, I finally got friend after all, how childish I am”   
“I keep on writing because I’m afraid I lose my only friend, and afraid the letters will stop only after one or two, but the letters keep coming up. Your letters keep coming to rescue me from my sorrowful days.”   
“Exchanging letters with you give me hope and strength. And those letters that keep me going in my worst days. I might sound a brat, but as the last child I used to showers with love. And suddenly cut out from the warmth of my family is breaking me down. It wound me that my mother and sister left me and my father. And then my father is gone too.” She took a lane down memory, not realizing how her breath become more unsteady with emotion.   
He took her mug slowly to refill it and push it back near her hand. Hoping the warmth from the mug can somehow ease her bad memory.   
Their hand brushed each other. He quickly retreat his hand and holding on to his own mug. She then realized there, that he always took care of her in silence, in the most unselfish way.  
She took a fond look the man in front of her. The boy behind those letters, that became her support system. She then realized that he is her first love.  
“Those letters is my life jacket. It took care of me in a way that keep me going, and in the same way how you always took care of me these days. In silent. From afar. Anonymously.”   
“thank you” She confessed her gratitude, she finally can confessed her gratitude towards the real person that took care of her all this times.  
He was taken aback from the sincere gratitude that he heard. It was a rare moment for him to hear another people being thankful to him in person. With his sharp attitude and snarky mouth, almost no one share their thankfulness in words.   
And he doesn’t realize how much he needed to hear it in words sometimes until today. It made his inside warm, and melted down his tears. Like what usually only grandma that able did to him.   
He got up to his feet, hiding his single tear that trickled down.  
“do you want cup ramen? I’ll make it two okay.. I am getting hungry” he busily opened the cabinet one by one.  
.  
They eat ramen in much lighter mood than before. Throwing little jokes about how ji pyeong cannot hold the spiciness. Although it wasn’t that spicy at all.   
“are you visit here often? You even stock up ramen and milk tea..” she asked curiously  
“hm, a couple times a month” he nodded  
“what do you want to do with this stall? Selling cord dog in retirement?” she joked around  
“yaa,, I am not that old to already thinking about retirement.” He bantered back.   
They almost there. Almost back to the comfortable zone that the incident three days ago shattered. If not more.  
“I just want to keep the warm memory, and I hope that I will meet grandma again somehow. Although I actually met her again not here but where the food truck is now” he smiled at the thoughts of grandma, that he already met again and be best friend again.  
“wow grandma sure know how to pick man..” she mumbled  
“haha why? Are you jealous?” he laughed. And froze when he realized what he just said.  
‘fxxkk he curse himself down’ when he noticed that she is getting silent.  
“of course.”  
“I mean, she know how I adore the boy in the letters. Why she didn’t let me know him” she stirring her now empty cup ramen.  
Surprise is understatement. He couldn’t think of any reply back.   
Annoyed by the silent, she glanced up to his face. Only to find a stoic surprised face. She burrowed her eyebrows in question  
“no one would adore the true me” he replied in honesty. No one would accept a flaw man like me.  
He lowered his gaze to his ramen. Finishing the ramen in silent.  
.  
They made their way back to seoul with his car. He offered her a ride, and she just nod. So now they are on their ways to seoul side by side. Engulfed in silence.   
But not a frightening silence that they start their night with, or an awkward silence of getting to know each other. It was just an okay silence that they can accept and rather enjoy.   
Lots of things still need to open up, pandora box to explain. But for now they just want to enjoy the peace after the storm. The calmness after the hurricanes.   
It is getting him full on heart and stomach. Although that cup ramen is his first solid food that came through his stomach for these past three days. But he confident enough he can go to sleep early after drops her down in her home.  
It is getting her warm and calm. It’s making her sleepy. Maybe because these past three days she cannot get a peaceful sleep, always being awaken by nothing only every other 30 minutes the most. Now she is sure she can took an undisturbed long sleep till morning after she reach home.  
But she cannot help but fell asleep only halfway home.   
Like the last time, he stopped sideways to turn of the navigator light off and lean down her seat.   
And continue to drive her home.  
.  
“good boy, why are you here?” he sat down in front of his trunk checking up his emails, waiting dalmi that still fast asleep in his car when suddenly grandma stepped outside. Looks like she wanted to throw out garbage.  
“ah! Shhh! Halmoni.. dalmi is asleep” he hurriedly asked grandma to tone down her sound  
“ah.. okay.” Grandma only nodded, not even asking a single question to why they ended up together back home.   
“is it warm inside the car?” she asked, worried of her granddaughter.  
“of course, don’t worry. I also light out the all lights there. She seems doesn’t have enough sleep these days. She got dark panda eyes”  
“how can she?! You know why.. “ grandma answering the obvious question  
“Sorry.. I am sorry I didn’t keep my words halmoni” ji pyeong looking guilty  
“what words?”  
“To keeps her from getting hurt. It turns out me who hurt her in the end” he sulked  
“What do you mean? What a good boy like you do that can hurt her? It is me whose at fault. I hurt both of you.” Grandma cupped his face like she always do to get his full attention  
“I am sorry ji pyeong ah”   
He held her close, he always feel weak in front of grandma warmth. Making him greedy to crave another warmth relationship. But for now he is forever grateful that he got grandma. No matter what happen to him and dalmi relationship. He truly grateful that he still got grandma.  
.  
Dalmi is watching all that from inside the car with teary eyes.   
She realized how fragile is that man actually. How he craved warmth more than others, but put up wall higher than others. He is still a child craving for love. And she grateful he can find love in grandma.   
Now she knew, all this is just an act to keep her from getting hurt. All act to keep babying her. Keep putting her in silver plate.   
But reality hits, and time is ticking. She need to grow up. Yesterday she blamed them for the pain that is coming. Only realizing now, that the pain is just kept pushed back by them. She will eventually got hit and feel the pain of growing up. It is not their fault at all.  
Didn’t realize how much she supposed to be thankful for both of them. That always shield away the harsh reality from her. Now she is ready to take a front row too.   
.   
When the teary conversation over, she can saw how comfortable grandma and ji pyeong around each other. They joked around and teased each other.  
“good boy you need to eat, why you are more skinny than a sausage. I cannot help but pity you every time I make a cord dog”  
“wha? Halmoni! How could you compare me to a sausage..” he angrily shouted   
“I might be skinny but I have muscle you know! I had my own personal trainer in the gym” he needlessly stating the fact the he is more than okay  
“hah! Why gain muscle in the gym. What a waste of money” grandma dismissed him   
“just come around every other day, don’t just come at Friday. You could help me lift up more things in the food truck. You can also carry my groceries.” She dissed him  
“what! Halmoni..” he sulked like a baby  
“did you help halmoni often?” dalmi cutting in she came out.   
“ah! I just want to eat corn dog, but halmoni keep making me doing work” he regained his composure  
“what do you mean, you keep bugging me around like a puppy. Of course I will making you do chores” grandma retorted back  
“now come inside, at least eat warm soup. And then go back. It’s looks like not only dalmi that getting lack of sleep.” She barked and went inside  
Dalmi wanted to step inside when she realized ji pyeong didn’t follow them.  
“ji pyeong ssi?” she asked “ah! I can call you that right?”  
She saw a light just turn on in his eyes. An adorable puppy came to her mind looking at his bright face.  
“of course. You can speak informal to me. I always get smack from halmoni by the way, so it will be uncomfortable to me if you keep speak formal outside the office”  
“then come inside. Eat one hot soup before you go”  
“but its late, you don’t mind?”  
“cut it out! lets just go inside okay?” she cut his formality, but with sneaky smile. and she went inside “hurry up!”  
“ah! Nde!!” he hurriedly followed her steps after locked his car.  
.


End file.
